Parenting Advice

“Keep Moving Forward” - How Not to Get Stuck in Failure
By Lynn B Lawson

Remember watching children’s movies when we were growing up? We watched Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Snow White and sometimes fantasized about how we would be swept away by the man of our dreams.

The messages that we saw were all too often not educational or, in any way, realistic. Fantasy was what it was all about. But, that remained unrecognizable to us…until we grew up - the Prince that we watched in movies never came.

So, I was pleasantly surprised while watching a movie with my children recently. Something amazing happened. I realized that there was actually a message in it that my children absolutely needed to take hold of and not let go. The movie - “Meet the Robinsons”, the message - “Keep Moving Forward”!

This message is important for our children to understand and, fortunately, it’s stressed throughout the movie. It’s presented in an incredible way and I commend Disney for making it.

But, there is even more of a need for us women to listen to and live this message. We’ve talked about moving past the fear of failure and into action. When you feel the fear, push through it anyway. But, what happens when you push through that thing you’ve feared only to find failure on the other side.

In these cases, the most important thing to internalize is you can’t stop there. There’s a valuable lesson in failure. Each time we fail, especially when trying the same thing over and over, we learn a new lesson.

So, here’s a concrete plan if you find yourself facing failure: when you fail, lay down for a day or two (you can take that figuratively or literally). This down time gives you the opportunity to throw yourself a pity party, but also allows you to clear your head. Oftentimes, the best ideas and resolutions come when you put a project down.

You can curl up in a fetal position under the cover or agonize over it however you see fit. Then, after a couple days of that…get up and get yourself together. Analyze what went wrong and give yourself the time you need to come up with a better plan. But never give up because you never know how close you are to a major, life-changing success.

All successful people live this rule. On average, a successful person fails an incredible number of times before reaching their goal. But the value in the lesson is they don’t give up until they find success (whatever that means for them).

Go ahead- hurry up and fail! Failure moves you that much closer to success. And, as you’re picking yourself up from a failure, make this your mantra - “Keep Moving Forward”. Cornelius Robinson (or Walt Disney) would be proud!

Lynn Lawson publishes One Funky Mama, an online guide that encourages moms to live fuller lives. Sign up for the semi-weekly ezine at http://www.onefunkymama.com and you’ll be happy you have that extra little push to make your life more fulfilled.

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Celebrating New Mommys
By Lenore Zurwelle

There is anticipation and excitement when you learn you are going to be a new Mommy. Whether it is your first, second or fifth child it is always a new experience. Will the pregnancy be easy, will I be nauseous all the time and when will that phase be over? There are so many things to learn. Will the new addition to the family be a boy or girl? Each woman knows the awe and responsibility of creating new life and it is daunting.

It is a good idea to rest and relax as often as possible. I found that sitting cross legged, sort-of Yoga style helps relax and stretch the pelvic muscles and makes for an easier delivery. This is not scientific but rather from personal experience. I started sitting that way at every opportunity as soon as I found out I was pregnant and had easy deliveries each time. Someone passed along that information to me and I found it to be true. And I have passed it along to others, too. In fact, I just did!

Now there are all the new things to think about and this is where all Mommys are individual. From staying home or working through the pregnancy to breast or bottle feeding, there is so much to consider. Each decision has it’s own positives and negatives. Ultimately, the decision is yours, even tho you may have some “outside influences” who have their own opinions. The basic family unit, you and the baby’s daddy must be the final decision makers for all the decisions in your children’s lives.

This sometimes requires backbone or intestinal fortitude and when your feet are swollen and your back aches it is hard to see clearly. Mothers, Mothers-in-Law, friends and neighbors will all have advice. Ultimately, you must rely on your own good instincts that are growing and forming as fast as the baby inside you.

The best advice I can give is to cherish each moment of the nine months and celebrate your new Motherhood. The time goes so fast and then just when it seems it will never be over…..POP you have just entered into another new phase of life.

We are all different but so much the same,feeling the joy that we celebrate as Mommys.

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A Mother’s Job is Never Done
By Yana Berlin

First to arrive and the last to depart, I left my girlfriends house at half past midnight, got into my car and headed toward my parents’ house in Los Angeles. My daughter, who is currently attending UCLA, is living with my parents, and I was looking forward to spending the night cuddling her like so many years ago when she was just a baby.

I had been up since very early that morning, but felt like I had more energy than ever. Tonight was one of our Book Club meetings, and reconnecting with my girlfriends always recharges my batteries. I kept thinking how six of us reading the same book could batter up different opinions and views. In particular, it amazed me how three of us thought that the main character died tragically, while the other three insisted that he did not. Discussing books is always fun, and catching up and bonding with girlfriends is priceless.

My busy day required several hours on the cell phone, and by the end of the evening the battery had run dead and my charger was at home. Around 9:00 p.m., I called my other kids to say goodnight and mentioned that my battery was dying. Knowing that three of them were with my husband and one was with my parents, I could relax and enjoy my evening without any worries.

As I got into my car after a delightful evening of book discussion, dinner, a few drinks and a lot of gossip, I thought about my parents and how much they enjoy having my daughter live with them. Daisy appreciates living there as well, but is always concerned that they worry about her.

Before Daisy moved in, my mom swore that she would not give her a hard time about going out and coming home late. So far, she has kept her end of the bargain. The only problem is, she doesn’t bother Daisy; instead she calls me!

Déjà vu All Over Again

As I parked my car and climbed the few steps to my parents’ town home, I opened the door and froze. There stood mom in her pajamas, a look of horror on her face.

Before I had a chance to ask what was wrong, she began screaming that she has been up for hours, worried sick about me. She tried calling me, but my phone was dead. She didn’t know if something happened, and why didn’t I call, and on and on she went.

As I stood there at 43 years of age, a mother of four grown children, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Part of me felt like asking mom what she was doing up so late, and part felt like I was back in high school, about to get grounded. Only when my mom proclaimed that, “she will talk to my husband” and that “these book clubs have to end, after all how long does it take to discuss one book?” could I no longer contain my laughter.

I love my overly protective, neurotic Jewish mother, but getting lectured at 1:00 in the morning for staying out too late was just too much to take with a straight face. When I asked her to keep quiet in fear of waking my father, mom turned around and announced that she was going to bed.

Still laughing, I entered the bedroom where my daughter laid snickering under the sheets. She told me that grandma waits up for her every time she leaves the house, and also said that my mom made her call and text all of my friends to see if they knew of my whereabouts. Fortunately, my daughter wasn’t worried about me, and actually found the whole incident very entertaining.

As I climbed into bed with my ‘baby,” we had a long talk about how a mother’s job is never done. In my mom’s eyes, I was still a child that needs protection - regardless of my age - and that will never change.

It was a real eye opener for Daisy to see me standing there, ready to take the punishment from my mom. Only this time, I could risk having a smile on my face without the fear of getting sent to my room or ruining my chances of going out that weekend. As my daughter turned to say goodnight, she said, “Mommy, I promise never to run out of power on my cell phone” and we both happily fell asleep.

Before I left for home the next morning, I made an orchid arrangement for my mom as a silent thank you for loving all of us the way she did.

Mom, I love you, Happy Mother’s Day.

Yana Berlin is the founder and CEO of http://www.fabulously40.com devoted to the celebration of all things, primarily women and the challenges and joys they face juggling their careers, children, relationships, and life’s other issues. Fabulously 40.com is a social network for women that catalyzes its members to celebrate and embrace their life. Since launching fabulously40.com Mrs. Berlin has been connecting, and supporting women all over the world.

2008 (c) This article can only be reproduced in it’s entirety when the link to http://www.fabulously40.com is live at all times.

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What is a Mother
By Adora Ganir

A mother is someone who loves her children unconditionally. She gives herself without waiting to be noticed. Her day starts and ends with a prayer that God would bless, guide and guard her children. Her heart bleeds whenever she sees her children in pain, but exercises disciplinary measures when necessary in order to mold her children to be a person of good values, inner strength, integrity and good character. She doesn’t force her children to be what she wants them to be. Instead, she supports and guides them to realize their dreams and reach their full potentials. She painstakingly teaches her children life skills, patiently answers their queries no matter how trivial they may be and truly pays attention. She teaches them to do away with wrongdoings and leads by example.

A mother’s task is never ending. It doesn’t stop even she’s in the office or anywhere away from home. There’s no day offs or time outs. No amount of money would compensate for the enormous tasks that a mother takes, but the hugs, smiles, kisses of her children are enough to soothe, to lift her up and to refresh her soul. She is like a wonder woman. She takes different roles at different times. She could be a teacher, then a counselor, a nurse, a caregiver, a protector, a playmate or a friend. She would try hard to be what she thinks her children need her to be in a given moment. A mother will do everything even the unimaginable out of her enormous love for her children.

She is an angel in disguise who gives her children wings to fly, helps them to soar high and who is always there to catch them when they fall.

http://www.dadbytes.blogspot.com

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Do You Need a Mommy Time Out?
By Alyice Edrich

Do you feel tired, beaten and worn down? If so, then you need to sit down and take personal inventory of your life. When was the last time you took time to just enjoy being alive? No schedules, no commitments, no to do lists…just a little rest and relaxation doing something you enjoy-even if no one else enjoys it. If you can’t recall the last time you took a time out for yourself, maybe today’s the day to start….

As moms, we tend to get so wrapped up in caring for everyone else that we forget to care for ourselves. But without proper attention we get fat, begin to show signs of fatigue, depression creeps in, we have unwarranted outbursts of anger, and we encounter mood swings.

That’s why making time to care for ourselves is so important. Mommy time outs are essential in maintaining proper mental and physical health. Mommy time outs also teach our children that it’s okay to do something for yourself once in awhile-it’s okay to take care of you.

The hardest part about taking a mommy time out, however, is that a mom’s job is never done. There’s always one more load of laundry, one more set of dishes, another school function to attend, another assignment to complete and a child hollering, “Mom!”

So what’s a mom to do? It’s as simple as “taking action.”

And here are some sure fire ways to get mom to take a MOMMY TIME OUT…

• Ask hubby to watch the kids.
In only two hours, you can get your hair done, get a manicure, try on a few clothes, and have coffee with a friend. And, in two hours, you can go see that “Chick Flick” that no one else wants to see.

• Start a Baby Swap.
Simply put, two or more moms agree to watch another’s child for one to two hours on a weekly or monthly basis in exchange for the same courtesy.

• Join a Bible study.
Bible studies offer childcare services for as little as $2 per visit. And if you can’t afford that, there are often grants in place for needy families.

• Schedule an evening with a relative.
Have the kids hang out with Aunt Kathy the first Monday of every month and Grandma Miller the third Saturday of the month. It allows for special bonding and gives mom a little “me” time.

• Steal a few minutes out of the day.
You can steal time by waking up an hour before the kids get up or stay up an hour after everyone in the house goes to bed. Use that time to read a book, journal, doodle, take a luxurious bath, have a cup of coffee, listen to the birds sing in the morning or the crickets chirp in the evening, or simply daydream.

Alyice Edrich is the editor of The Dabbling Mum®, a free parenting publication, and the author of several work from home e-books designed to help parents earn extra cash while spending more time with their children. To learn more, visit her at http://thedabblingmum.com/ebookstore

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