Parenting Advice

Making Adjustments For New Partners by Gerald Mason

Before describing the various marital adjustments that will have to be made by both partners, therefore, it is essential that the partners themselves realize that they differ not only biologically but also psychologically. What God has made distinct, let no man confuse.

Philosophers down through the centuries have pointed out the complementary differences of men and women.

Man… has initiative, power and origin. Woman has intuition, response, acceptance, submission and cooperation. Man lives more in the external world… it is his mission to rule over it and subject it. Woman lives more in the internal world…. Man is more interested in the outer world; woman in the inner world. Man talks about things; woman more about persons. Man fashions the products of the earth; woman fashions life…. Man makes sacrifices for things which are in the future and which are abstract; woman… is more inclined to make sacrifices for persons and for that which is immediate.

Because more objective, man is inclined to give reasons for what he loves and what he does; woman, being more subjective… is more inclined to love just for love’s sake. Man’s reasons for loving are because of the qualities and attributes of the beloved. Man builds, invents, conquers; woman tends, devotes, interiorize. The man gives; the woman is a gift.

According to Dr. Alphonse Clemens, director of the Marriage Counseling Center of the Catholic University of America, there are some very differing traits of men and women in our culture that should be considered. Without such knowledge marital adjustment is extremely difficult, if not impossible. The various traits of men and women are as follows:

Men

Men prefer generalities. Men are more objective. Men tend to be stern. Men tend to be forceful. Men prefer essentials. Men are more passionate. Men are more materialistic. From comparing these differences it can be said that ideally every woman possesses the psychological qualities for motherhood: a great capacity for generous and unselfish love, a loving attention to details, a strong intuitive sense, tenderness, patience, long-suffering; while every man manifests the qualities required of fatherhood, namely: strength, clear and logical thought, wisdom to command, resolute and determined will, courage. In practical living, however, it is important to remember that few “pure” types of the masculine and feminine traits can be found. It is perhaps more accurate to say that the perfect human being is a composite of both. There are times when a man should know how to be tender, meek, sympathetic, patient, and understanding. And he does not become less a man for so doing. No man is “just like a man.”

The same holds true for a woman. No woman is just another member of her mysterious sex. She has personal feminine characteristics similar to those of her sisters, but nevertheless quite different. At times she may and must display some very definite masculine traits.

Marriage, a Discord or Symphony in Relationships

Getting married is one thing, establishing a happy home quite another. A Christian home is not an outright gift of God; it must be built up by the contracting parties themselves, upon the fixed principles of the law of God. No matter how well matched the newlyweds may seem to be, no matter how well they think they know and understand each other, there will be great need for mutual adjustments in every phase of married life. This requires a great amount of sacrifice. The priest reminds the couple of this at the marriage ceremony. “Sacrifice is usually difficult and irksome. Only love can make it easy; and perfect love can make

it a joy. We are willing to give in proportion as we love. And when love is perfect, the sacrifice is complete.”

Making marriage a symphony of good living takes time. It is not achieved overnight. It sometimes takes 25 hours a day, as newlyweds are soon to discover, because some days are very long. This adjustment to living harmoniously with one another is best made alone, and by the newlyweds themselves. To paraphrase Sacred Scripture, it is good for them to be alone during this period. If they are forced to live with in-laws, there is usually a serious hazard to peace and happiness. Doting parents do the young couple no great favor in offering them an upstairs apartment. It is almost axiomatic that newlyweds do better when away from the prying eyes and free advice of parents or other in-laws.

This is no reflection against in-laws. They may be well intentioned, but studies show that God’s command to man to leave father and mother and cleave to his wife is still the best.

Little Things Mean a Lot

The first important duty of newlyweds is to get acquainted. Living under the same roof gives them their first real opportunity to do this. If they are unwilling to make the concessions that are necessary to bring harmony between two dissimilar natures, there is very little chance of success. The emotionally immature person is fundamentally selfish, but unselfishness is a key habit in seeking happiness. Differences will occur, and both partners must make a high resolve to sink their differences. In every case it takes intelligence, character, and time to become an excellent husband or wife. Fortunately nature defers the advent of a child, and in ordinary cases nine to twelve months pass before newlyweds are permitted to become fathers and mothers. This gives time for the mutual adjustments which must be made. Not that adjustments and the need for virtue are exclusively marital characteristics. In every human relationship there must be a harmonious give-and-take between individuals; each must adapt to the other. The same characteristics which make a good child, a good parent, a good employee, a good employer, or a good neighbor will make him or her a good husband or wife.

The big problem in the early days, months, and even years of married life is adjustment. The word “adjustment” comes from two Latin words ad and juste which mean “justice toward.” Adjustment, therefore, means full willingness to recognize, accept, and promote the entire personality of one’s spouse so that both will be able to bear the burdens and responsibilities of married life. Adjustment also has reference to the couple’s acceptance of God’s plan for marriage. There is no room for selfishness in His plan. That is why the best marital adjustments are those that are made by unselfish, generous people. Where the “unselfish spirit of perfect sacrifice guides their every action,” a married couple is assured of success.

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Technology Togetherness by Lynn Powers

We all have special recollections from our childhoods of special times spent with our families – making forts, cooking together, playing board games. Some memories are quirky, some silly, and some sentimental. Although those moments are long past, the memories linger. And now that we’re parents ourselves, we want to create the same kinds of memories for our kids.

Unfortunately, the easy and carefree days we remember from our own youth seem to have transformed into busy and chaotic ones for our children. Not only do kids today seem to be involved in more after-school activities like sports and music, even when everybody does happen to be home at the same time, the lure of the television, video games, iPods and computer command our attention. Needless to say, attempting to create special memories like the ones we had as kids seems futile.

But all hope is not lost! The world may indeed be faster-paced than it used to be, but the age of technology actually provides many fresh and exciting opportunities for memory-making moments. Maybe one of the following ideas will appeal to you and your kids:

1. Capture the Moment. Break out that digital camera and start snapping. Be silly, make faces or be serious. Once you’ve finished your photo session, upload the pictures to your computer and create a photo album, slideshow, or other inventive keepsake to look at time and time again.

2. Movie Making Moments. My kids love making movies with our video recorder and I have to say they do a great job behind and in front of the camera. Assign each person a role – writer, director, actors – or make every aspect a group effort. If you come up with something to really be proud of, why not post it on You-Tube or God-Tube to showcase your movie making talents to the world?

3. Let the games begin! So maybe monopoly just doesn’t do it for your kids but a competitive game of Guitar Hero gets their adrenaline pumping. Show your kids you’ve still “got it” by jamming to those rock songs you used to love. Be sure to sing along, too – admit it…you still know every word to Joan Jett’s, “I Love Rock ‘n Roll.”

No Guitar Hero? Any video game will do. To make it fair, go to the video store and rent a game no one has played before. Who will emerge the champion?

4. Have a Dance-Off. Pop in the latest CD and put on your dancing shoes. Show your kids the old style and let them demonstrate a move or two for you. Better yet, try your hand (make that, feet) at Dance, Dance Revolution. An added bonus – you’ll be getting in shape while making those memories! See who can go the longest without collapsing on the couch.

5. Family Movie Night. Remember how much you looked forward to the Disney Sunday Night Movie? Now, with so many DVD options, movie night can be any night of the week. Don’t forget to load up on popcorn, candy and soda of your choice. Hey – at least all that sugar and caffeine will keep you awake! Consider setting aside one movie night per month. Afterward, discuss your thoughts over old-fashioned ice cream sundaes. (Not everything has to include electronic devices.)

So the age of technology offers many opportunities for memory-making moments. Just remember, when it comes to family fun, one thing will never change. It’s not so much what you do that counts, but only that you’re doing it together.

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Spring Into Action With The Whole Family! by Lynn Powers

Finally, after months of being cooped up indoors, Spring is on the horizon! Fresh air, sunshine, warmer temperatures…the chance for my kids to run and play outside to release the pent-up energy they’ve been storing up all winter.

More than that, though, I welcome the opportunity to take off a few added “winter” pounds. I’m ashamed to say that a half-inch of dust has settled on the treadmill. The gloomy winter days just haven’t provided much motivation to hop on and start walking. The television and computer have been much more appealing. But now that I’m starting to think “shorts and bathing suit season,” exercise is pushing its way to the forefront of my mind. And even my kids, although not overweight, could use some physical activity that requires more than pushing the buttons on their video game controllers.

So I’ve decided it’s time we take our idle selves off the couch and out the door into the beautiful and blossoming world God created. Care to join us? Here are a few fresh ideas to get your blood flowing, heart pumping and metabolism racing. The best part is that these are all activities the whole family can enjoy together:

• Roll away the pounds – The next time the kids slip on their rollerblades, why not join them? Show them a trick or two as you race them around the block. If it’s been a while, you may want to wear some extra pads, and maybe even strap a throw pillow to your waist. You may look funny but if you happen to take a fall without the pillow in place, you definitely won’t be laughing.

• Do the Hula (hoop) – Revisit your younger years and try your hand (or hips) at hula-hooping. Even if it takes an hour to get the hang of it, think of all the exercise you’ll be getting just bending to pick up that hoop.

• Hop, Skip and Jump – HOP: Grab a stick of sidewalk chalk and draw some hopscotch squares. The tricky part will be remembering how the game is played but your kids will be quick to remind you. SKIP: Forget your inhibitions and skip your way around the house. You’ll feel muscles you forgot you had. If your neighbors look at you weird, just wave and ask them to join you. They obviously need to release their inhibitions, as well. JUMP: Dig out the jump rope that’s tangled up in your toy pile. How many jumps can you do in a row without missing? Mix it up by jumping on one foot, backwards, and criss-cross.

• It’s Easy (and fun!) being Green. Pickle was a favorite game when I was a kid and is now one of my kids’ favorites. Set up two bases (ball gloves or chair cushions work well) a few yards apart. One person stands at each base and throws a tennis ball back and forth with the other “base” person while one or two runners try to make it to the other “safe base” before being tagged out. Be sure to take your turn as runner to get your fair amount of exhaustion (I mean, exercise). Bonus: everyone will sleep well that night!

These are only a few ideas to get you outdoors and exercising this spring. The important thing is that you find a fun activity you can enjoy with your kids to move the whole family into health.

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Setting Boundaries For Your Kids by Lynn Powers

A two year tries to touch something you’ve told him a hundred times is off-limits. A ten year old goes beyond the perimeters you’ve set for her in the neighborhood. A sixteen year old stays out a half hour past his curfew.

No matter what age your kids are, the boundaries you set for them are bound to be tested. As the parent, the reasons for these restrictions are obvious. You don’t want your toddler to touch an outlet because he might get hurt. You prohibit your ten-year-old to go outside of the neighborhood because of the busy street that lies beyond. You want your sixteen-year-old home at a certain time because of nighttime dangers.

Despite their protests to the contrary, we don’t set boundaries because we’re ogres and want to prevent our kids from having fun. We’re simply trying to protect them. That’s what loving parents do.

Here are three things to keep in mind when setting boundaries for your kids:

1. Create the boundaries. This sounds like a no-brainer but there are many parents who never officially establish boundaries. Then, when their child does something his parents don’t approve of, the child gets in trouble but is left scratching his head, wondering what he did wrong. Kids need specifics. Not just, “Be home after dark,” but “Be home by ten o’clock.”

It may be necessary to make a list of your families specific boundaries and post it in a prominent place so your child can refer to it, if needed, or at least to serve as a reminder in case she “forgets” the rules.

2. Lay out the consequences. Just as important as setting the boundaries is explaining what the consequences will be for crossing them. If kids don’t know beforehand what will happen if they ignore the boundaries, it’s more likely they will test you and take a chance that the result won’t be that bad.

And then, if and when they do cross those boundaries, you won’t be left stressing about it. You’ll know exactly what to do.

3. Boundaries are meant to expand. As your child grows, the boundaries will too. You probably keep your toddler confined to your front yard but your seven-year-old may be allowed to ride her bike three house lengths down the street. A ten-year-old may have the freedom to ride his bike around the block, and you might okay your twelve-year-old’s plea to walk to a friend’s house, several blocks away. Take age, as well as each child’s individual responsibility into consideration, along with his or her history of staying within the boundaries.

Research shows that even though they throw tantrums and fits regarding boundaries they don’t think are fair, kids who are not given guidelines and restrictions while growing up are more likely to have behavior problems. Kids just aren’t wired to handle the responsibility that comes with freedom.

God loves us and lays out plenty of guidelines and restrictions in His Word. Staying within the boundaries God has set for us sets a wonderful example to our kids. Additionally, consistently setting boundaries and sticking to them will ensure that our children will someday realize that we’re not trying to keep something from them but are actually giving something to them. We’re offering them the love and security they’ll need when they’re finally able to spread their wings and fly into the world on their own.

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Kenny Chesney Launches His Own Line of Fine Hats by Penelope Morgan

There are quite a few country musicians (including solo artists and groups) that are hugely popular in the Unites States and around the world. Some of them include Australian musician Keith Urban, the Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood and The Eagles. However, one among these popular musicians stands out more than the others: Kenny Chesney. His fan base can be estimated from all the sold out concert tickets every year in various parts of the country and even outside of it during his tours.

Kenny Chesney has written popular songs such as “Better than a memory”, “In my wildest Dreams” and “All I need to know”. He holds a number of Grammy Awards with titles such as “Best Male Artist” and “Best Male Voice of the Year”. His Boston concert last year sold out tickets within ten minutes of opening the counter. This shows that despite the cash crunch during the recent economic recession enough people are still fond of the artist to buy his concert tickets to watch him perform live.

He was married to Hollywood actress Renee Zellweger for a short time in 2005. However, their marriage did not last long and Chesney retreated from the constant glare of the Paparazzi to go away for a short time on a Caribbean cruise in his private boat. However, when he returned, he came with a string of country songs which hit the American music charts with a bang once again. This re instated faith in the hearts of his fans regarding his capability as a musician and an artist.

The Kenny Chesney cowboy hats are the recent addition to his brand name. The country star has come up with a range of cool cowboy hats that are in sync with those he often wears while making public appearances and performing on stage. Fans are thrilled by this latest product and cannot wait to get their hands on their personal Kenny Chesney cowboy hat.

A lot of celebrities endorse various products and brand names to build their own brand in people’s minds. Chesney seems to be a little different from them. He chose to lend his name to a brand of rum and also shot a commercial for a brand of beer while singing to his own track “The Country Jimmy Buffett”. This introduced him to the television audience which made him ever better known and popular.

Chesney’s brand association with alcohol is also complimented with his own hit singles such as “Beer in Mexico”. His fans claim that Chesney’s songs involve a lot of personal emotions that the common man is able to relate to. Most people indulge in music to escape from life. Chesney’s songs are about that very life which makes them refreshingly different from the rest. His popularity is higher than bands such as Coldplay and fellow country musicians Rascal Flatts. His popularity in the American music scene is only behind that of Madonna and Celine Dion.

The next time Chesney plays in your city or in a town nearby you should definitely make an effort to catch him live in performance to get a treat of authentic American country music.

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Article Source: Fun Personality