I Had My Baby, Now What?
I Had My Baby, Now What?
By Laura Clements
Anyone who has had a child knows what I am referring to when I say, “Okay, I had my baby. Now what do I do?” I remember when I had my first child, my son Tyler who is now 3, I laid in the hospital bed thinking what am I supposed to do now?
I went from being a 23 year-old girl wearing a size 3 and driving a T-top Camaro, to being a mom! I had to have an emergency c-section; so here I am doped up on Morphine looking at my precious baby. Somehow, I felt like a used piece of luggage that someone should throw out in the trash. I held this innocent little boy who was going to depend on me, and I did not even know how to change a diaper. Visiting hours had been over for sometime, and my husband said he was going home. Home? How could he possibly leave me here by myself? The nurse brought in my pain medicine and took my son to the nursery, and that may have been the last good nights sleep I have had since. The next morning it was if I had read the Cliff Notes on parenting, I was a mom. I look back now and that night was one of the happiest moments of my life!
I do not think it was actually until after having my daughter, Emily, about 2 ½ years after my son’s birth that I really got an answer to my question. With my son I needed to know what to do, how to act, how to love. What I did not know then, but have since realized is that is what I had been doing. My daughter was lucky; I had the mind set of a pro. My husband went home that night, and I was happy to have the peace and quite. I was able to watch a whole movie on the hospital Pay-Per-View, and someone was waiting on me hand and foot. I think once you learn that becoming a parent does not mean having to give up control, but learning to control what you can. Becoming a “mom” does not have to change you. Maybe the saggy breasts are a must, but emotionally I am still myself, just better.
I may never wear a size 3 or drive a Camaro again. Instead, I have a Mountaineer with a DVD player, two small sets of arms reaching out to me, and a pile of laundry I may never get to the bottom of. I think it is the best trade I ever made. Even if the stretch marks were an added bonus.
Laura Clements
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